The me you do not know.

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Valley of the (porn) Dolls, California, United States
Ponderings of an underachiever, A perfectionist. A lazy bum. Obsessive Maniac. Aspiring saint. Sinner. Closet socialist. Unapologetic Capitalist. Nationalist with Colonial Mentality. Catholic. Liberation Theologist. Frustrated rock star. Old Dog. Middle-aged young boy.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Semi-charmed life.


I sometimes forget I live a semi-charmed life.

It is easy to desire more. More money. A palatial home. A fancier car. Fame.

One would be lying if one says it has never crossed their mind. But happiness lies not in these things but in enjoying what one has.

A true happy man is one who is able to distinguish the difference between what he needs and what he wants.

When we can not get what we love, we must love what is within our reach.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Life’s Most Underrated Activities

I am usually really unmotivated and bored, so I have fashioned ways of keeping myself entertained and amused. Here are a list of activities that one can do.
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Going to the movies alone. Seriously – you can eat all of the snacks and it’s just you, the film and your own thoughts.

Receiving and opening packages in the mail.

A long, hot shower. Getting the water to a point of steaming, hotness and standing/squatting/sitting in it until you’re relaxed or doze off is awesome. Everybody should indulge in closing their eyes and being pelted by drops of hot water.

Staring at the sky. It’s so massive and far away — to just lie on your back and admire its beauty is something we don’t do often enough. If there are clouds to watch float by – even better.

Eating food that you get to dip. I think this derives from the magical tastiness that was Dunkaroos, but now it extends to various things from chips and queso, to chicken nuggets and dipping sauces.

Being completely lazy with someone. Just hours upon hours of nothing but conquering multiple seasons of television shows, and mastering the art of sluggishness.

Slowing down and timing the red light changing to green perfectly, thus avoiding ever having to come to a complete stop.

Rock, paper, scissors. Sometimes I try to find “not-it” situations just so I can suggest they be settled by a game of rock, paper, scissors.

Stepping on and hearing the crunch of piles of leaves.

Popping bubble wrap.

Waking up and saying “screw it,” to productivity or obligations for the day. That means calling in sick, going back to sleep and spending the day doing — or not doing, whatever you please.

Building and lounging under a pillow or blanket fort.

Listening. Not only because you’re likely allowing someone to blow off steam and release their bottled up stress, but because sometimes it’s pleasant to play silent therapist.

Flicking through an entire rack of posters at some other dimly lit mall store.

Coloring. It’s like nobody does it once we get to a double-digit age, but it still possesses the relaxation equivalent of a cup of hot tea and a book.

Nighttime drives with the windows down and the music blaring through your speakers while you’re alone with your own thoughts and tunes.

Grabbing a plate at a buffet and having at the unlimited amounts of grub you can pile onto your plate.

The drive back on a road trip. Sure there’s excitement, anticipation and mystery on the way there – but the way back is when the entire experience is discussed and reflected upon from all of the participants perspectives.

Peeling protective sheets of plastic off of brand new electronics.

Random, lucid dreaming moments in which you know it’s just a dream, yet you’re still in there with full control of yourself.

Living like a slob in your hotel room. It’s a short-term mess that we’d never allow in our actual home, but since this is temporary we leave clothes, food, papers and garbage everywhere. Also, we don’t have to make beds or be neat with towels and junk – room service neatens things up for us.

Being underrated. Yes, it’d be fun for people to hype up and support you all the time, but as an underdog you’re given you the opportunity to prove doubters and naysayers wrong.

Saying “yes” to somebody – doesn’t matter what they’re asking of you, something about being able to say “yes” is pleasant.

Partaking in a hug that began with a running start and sometimes is met with one or both parties in midair.

Going through loud, wet, sudsy carwashes that feel like a poor man’s Universal Studios, special effects experience.

Throwing on clothes that came straight from the dryer.

Making someone who’s having a bad day or isn’t in the best mood genuinely smile or laugh.

Sharing high-fives with complete strangers over something you can both appreciate…

Removing your shoes by kicking them off with your feet, and never having to bend or kneel down.

Verbally taking advantage of being able to tell your loved ones you love them while they’re around to hear it, and you’re around to say it.

What is YOUR problem?


Today, a question was posed to people in the room. What is the cross that you bear?

In my head I was thinking of how I find a lot of people trivial. How I have a short attention span. How I easily get bored.

Then somebody raised their hand and began to tell a story of what he and his family was going through.

I felt stupid to think my problems mattered.

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.”

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

What makes you happy?


If you base your happiness on anything this world can take away, you will be very disappointed over and over again.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Bliss doesn't have to be ignorance.

Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts. –Wendell Berry

It is a verb; not just a noun.

It is something you do, not just something you feel.

Love. It’s a verb. You can have feelings that you define as love, but you do not “love someone” until you act on that, and put them before yourself: their happiness, well-being, etc. You should apply this to the people who claim they love you but don’t act like it. Words mean next to nothing unless they are backed with action.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Clarity

I was slouched on my couch watching a John Mayer concert... It had barely started when he mentioned his song "Clarity." He mentioned that it is his favorite song. It really isn't mine. (I prefer "Covered in Rain," but I digress.) And I remembered I promise to get better at doing this blog thing... So there...

Clarity. Hmmm. I have a lot of years on John Mayer but clarity isn't something that comes to me often. And when it does it usually is synonymous with disappointment rather than joy.

I am trying to think about things I am absolutely CLEAR on.

...give me time....

....I'm still thinking...

...Hmmm...

I guess I am sure family is important to me.

Another thing is...

...that it is hard to please me... or maybe, in time I can absolutely get bored of things.

How about y'all? What are you CLEAR on?

Monday, June 10, 2013

Back from the dead.

Man...I feel so bad. I have not been here in 2 years. I feel like I have abandoned a friend. But I am still here. No excuses. I told you I'm not big on commitments. I am Procrastinator numero uno. I am lazy, forgetful...
Well it does not help that Life has taken over. Work, FB and Twitter. But like I said no excuses. I dropped the ball. It is not the first time and sadly it probably won't be the last.

Whew I am trying to remember where I left off. At one point in my life did I stop writing? I am sure I can pinpoint the exact date when I fell off the face of this blog but... I am no longer interested in the past. I have cut ties. I have buried the dead. I have burned bridges. I have moved on.

I have celebrated a couple of birthdays since then. Reality really has hit me. At this point, I know I have more past than future. That is scary. Time is running out. Clock is ticking. I gotta finish strong. But I may have lost the drive or the edge or maybe I just don't give as much of a F anymore. Luckily, maybe not giving a F would be a welcome change. You gotta stay tuned.

I was just gonna promise that I would write an entry a day. But I know that would be a lie.

So let's just keep it loose. I'll keep doing it till I don't. And if I don't, know that I meant to.