Does it hurt?

do you want me to take the pain away?
but then you would not understand ....that i ache for you.
That you need to die ...
so that i may live in you.
i died for you, will you die for me too?

michizure.

Die.

Die.


"Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste of death but once."


When I read that quote from Shakespeare in high school, I thought it was a gangsta creed. In the thuglife, you tried to faithfully live it. Swear by it. Do not take shit from anybody…even if it meant death… Death before dishonor.


Bullshit.


I try not to talk about God in this blog. Honestly because I know not everybody who reads it is Christian, much less Catholic. But this message is universal.


We must die in order to live. Live a better life. Let the old you die. So a new you lives.


It is tough. We mourn the death of our egos. We mourn the death of that persona we have taken in as our own. But sooner or later, we have to commit to not who we really are but what we could be. Reconciling the two personas is useless. The persona that we project is tainted. The persona that we aspire to be is pure.


As a Catholic, I know Christ died on the cross for us to save us. I have heard that ALL my life. Maybe what Christ really wanted was for me to DIE with Him. So that He can live in me. I need to let the old me die…so that no longer I but Christ who lives in me. I have to put the old me to rest.


Dying is painful. At least the kind of dying I am talking about. When people talk about a "fate worse than death" I get it now. I am not talking about suicide. Suicide is the easy way out. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. Live life through, even when it's tough and painful. There is honor in that.


But to kill the old you so that Christ can live in you: that is a call to greatness.


Think about it. Every prophet, every one that God has called to greatness started out flawed. That should give me  us hope for fake asses sinners like us. 


Everything is upside down in the kingdom of God. People who got the call were dumb asses simpletons, murderers, adulterers, corrupt; yet somehow, they managed to kill their old self to become vessels of good. They had to be emptied of everything…every selfishness, every poison from pride, every foolish thing they held on to, every vain ambition, … so that the Spirit can reside in them. No half and half. Partly empty was a formula for mediocrity. EMPTY. Nothing left. Only then could they have been filled. And they were filled. Filled to the brim.


It kind of reminds me of the Kid's Story from the Animatrix. Where you had to die to see the real world.


Oh yeah, did I tell you it was going to be painful? That there is suffering involved? You bet your ass it's gonna hurt. It is going to be uncomfortable. It is going to hurt like nothing you've ever known.


Things that give you pleasure? Gone. Fame? Gone.  Material possessions? Gone. Everything that tainted the old you needs to extricated from your being. Like deep cuts, incisions to take away the cancer. And to take it all out. You WILL die. Pray that death comes early.


But what if the process takes longer?


How do you deal with the suffering and pain..and eventual death?


Remember, Christ died for us…shouldn't we die for Him to be reborn in us?

You're scared aren't you? Chicken!  Wuz.

 

Just Do it! Do it! Do it!


Grant me a peaceful death O Lord. That's my prayer.


I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me. Galatians, Chapter 2, Verse 20