Saddest thing I read today:

It’s the only time in my life I ever tried to talk to God. First I asked him why. Then I asked him to help me. And he never said a word.

You know, the only thing worse than being shined on by God is having it happen at a time like that, man. But it’s just like the preachers say: you can’t fool God. He knows why you’re finally talking to him – because you need help. So God never answered me, and I was on my own. And the only thing I wanted to do was to die.

Second.

Ok, I'll let my monsters down.

I am a big Californication fan.

Sometimes though I remember that the highlight of the episode was not the adventures of Hank Moody or the scathing dialog but the soundtrack.

A number of songs on my playlist will attest to that.

One particular song by Warren Zevon; I really didn't care for the genre... but the lyrics hit me like a baseball bat.

I know because I haven't heard it in years yet I remember... It goes...

Don't let us get sick
Don't let us get old
Don't let us get stupid, all right?
Just make us be brave
And make us play nice...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELe4vC3oM5E

I think I have always known why I am often in a rut. But let me let my monsters down.

I am old.

And because I am old. I rarely give a f*ck.

When I was boy, I would scare myself shitless into putting an extra hour... just to be sure I do not suck the next day. The extra effort saved my skin a great many number of times...To be honest, because of it, on certain days, I even excelled.

Now? Oh very little scare me.  That is why NFG.

I know. It's sad.

That kinda explains why I haven't been here in a while.