Wow. You're still here?

 Man. I suck. I know. I start things and I do things then I don't. That's me. 

I should write. I will write. Don't give up on me yet.

“They call in the middle of the day… or night… Some hesitate. Take a deep breath. Some break down in tears. And grasp for courage to say out loud what they have been hiding inside for days, weeks, or years. Others almost run in. They spill before I get a word in. They’re anxious to clear their conscience or announce their doubts. Each one is different. I hang on. And listen.

“I did not ask for this opportunity. I never considered I might volunteer at church or minister to teens. I have no professional training for this position. I am by no means a biblical scholar. Or a learned man of faith..

All I do is answer a phone call..or sit beside them...ask How they are doing. And hopefully offer some relief.

And yet they come. Share their stories of disappointment, of joy, of broken dreams . And look to me for wisdom. I’m not sure any of them have learned from me. But, I have learned so much in the hours I’ve sat listening to them.

I have learned that we believe it is a strength to conceal weakness; that it is easy to want others to overlook our flaws as we expect perfection in them; that it is hardest to show compassion and grant forgiveness to those closest to us.

I have learned that faith is a muscle; I have learned that it is far easier to deny deity than to deny desire.

I have learned that we feel like a failure when we make mistakes even when we profess a belief that the purpose of this existence is to learn from them; I have learned that forgiveness is the greatest gift we can offer someone. And ourselves; I have learned that the strongest among us are those with the cleanest mirrors.

I have learned that the sins of parents profoundly affect children. And are often repeated by them; I have learned that affection from parents profoundly affects children; I have learned that children desperately desire parents who listen.

I have learned that there’s more sadness in this world than I had realized. I have learned there is more goodness in this world than I had realized. I have learned that to be happy is a choice.

I have learned those preoccupied with serving others have less time to count their problems; Indeed, I have learned that I have much to learn.

The names of those I meet with will never be known. Confidentiality and discretion demands I never disclose their names and stories.But I recognize that they think I am offering them help... but they are actually the ones helping me.

Japan.

Ah Japan.

It definitely should be on everybody’s bucket list. The country, the food and the people will leave you wanting to go back right away.

This has been a long time overdue but I thought I would share with you my experiences on my last trip to the Land of the Rising Sun.

PEOPLE

Apart from the spectacle of it all, what really struck me was how the Japanese are so honest, polite and helpful.

These character traits cross through the language barrier.

We took a cab from the train station to the hotel and the driver following his GPS took us to the back of the hotel. He got out of the cab to check that we can indeed go through the gate and the backdoor of the hotel. I don’t know about you but I don’t really remember taxi drivers anywhere else in the world that would get out of their comfortably controlled cab, into the cold weather to make sure his passengers are going to be ok.

On our way back, we had to take another cab. Like before, I would show the driver our destination written in Japanese…  About halfway through the trip, he was speaking to me in Japanese and pointing at the taxi meter while he turned it off…  In my head, I’m thinking “Oh no, he is going to tell us he is going to have to have us either catch another cab or tell us to walk the rest of the way…. Or charge us off-the-meter”  But lo and behold, he took us to our destination.  I think what happened was that he missed a turn and didn’t want to charge us for his mistake! I was in awe.

Oh by the way, in Japan, the taxi drivers wear a black suit and gloves. The taxi doors open and close by a switch operated by the driver. You do not need to open or close it. The driver does it for you.

We did not join any organized tour on this trip. That means we were at the mercy of Google maps. It worked 80 percent of the time. But when it does not work, it made me sweat bullets.

The look of being lost in such a huge city is probably familiar to many Japanese when they see tourists. No less than 4 people helped me find my bearings.

One older lady came up to me at the train station when it looked like I was confused about which train to take and where I needed to go. She approached me and asked me if I needed help.

She waited till I was able to figure out how to buy my Suica card and made sure I was confident about where I was going.

Another lady, again on her own, asked if I needed help. Google maps was spinning like crazy and I probably looked both frustrated and helpless. She ended up walking out of her way for 6 blocks to show me where the Skytree Building was. I expressed my thanks to her. But at that moment I made a commitment to go out of my way to help any tourist, especially Japanese tourists, if I ever spot any of them here in California.

When I walked the streets of Tokyo (there was one day we walked for 10 miles!) or any Japanese city for that matter, you never have this feeling of being unsafe, of being robbed or taken advantage of. To think that this is one of the world’s most crowded cities. I saw unlocked bicycles on the street but what really impressed me was that I saw people ‘reserving’ their seats in cafes by playing their iPhones on the table while going to order at the counter.

Some attribute this to Japanese culture and ethics education.

I read that Japanese schools offer classes for ethics and morality, and students learn to imagine the feelings of those who lost their own goods or money. So it’s not rare to see kids bringing a 10-yen coin to a police office."

There are also rules and rewards. Japan’s Lost Goods Law states that anyone who finds money must give it to the police, and has the right to receive a reward of 5 percent to 20 percent if the owner claims it — and all of the money if no one claims it within three months.

Hey that should be practiced everywhere in the world!

CLEANLINESS

The Japanese toilet seat is something to behold. Sitting on a standard commode

will feel like going back to the Stone Age. The seat is heated, temperature controlled wash, a choice of background sounds to mask nature’s sounds…. “you left the lid up” squabbles need never take place (the seat lifts and closes automatically in many models).

Oh, Japanese bathrooms don’t usually have paper towels. They usually have air hand dryers. Most Japanese always carry with them a handkerchief or a small towel.

The streets of Japan are trash-free. You would hardly find the Japanese eating while walking. Probably because there are no trash cans in sight. People carry their personal trash back home with them.

TIPS

If there's a choice, fly into Haneda, not Narita. Haneda Airport is a lot more convenient for most travelers to fly into than Narita International Airport owing to the distance from Tokyo for both. It is not always an option or sometimes it is more expensive. But if you had a choice… choose Haneda.

If you have never been and are planning to go, Best tip I got was to get a Pupuru Pocket Wifi. You can get them at any Japanese airport. You can order them online. (https://pupuruwifi.com/en).

Wifi isn’t as easy to come by in Japan as in the States. And if you are going to be using Google maps and Google Translate, you will need a good internet connection. They will deliver it to your hotel or you can pick up at their airport counter. Once you are done, they supply you with a stamped envelope and you can mail it back before you get on your plane out of Japan.

About hotels, if you are going around Tokyo, get one that is walking distance to a train station.  If it is your first time, get one in Shinjuku. You would then be at the heart of the action. Also, print your hotel address in Japanese. Actually, print all the places you may need to take a cab to or ask for directions in Japanese.

Another important tip is to have Japanese yen. Japan is very much a cash society. You’d be surprised that not every shop takes credit cards. So make sure you have cash on hand. For trains, vending machines, etc.

Skip the money changers, go to 7-11. Use your debit card. Call your bank to make sure it will work in Japan. Do the same for your credit card. Make sure that they do not charge foreign transaction fees. Capital One Venture has really good exchange rates!

About 7-11.  In Japan goes beyond what we are accustomed to here in the States. When I was there I ate all my breakfast from 7-11. Oh and Japanese snacks and soda! Yum. https://www.odigo.jp/articles/1566-must-try-foods-from-7-eleven

 Not the soggy and questionable hotdogs we have find at American 7-11s.

But please do not get all your meals at 7-11. Tokyo, Japan’s capital has more Michelin stars than any other city in the world — and it’s not even close. In  2017, Tokyo has 12 restaurants with three stars; meanwhile, there are 54 two-star restaurants, and 161 with a single star each.

 Not all Michelin-recognized restaurants are super-pricey but you can bet there will be lines on the ones that are cheap. So plan ahead.

Read up on Japanese culture and do’s and don’ts. You don’t want to be THAT dude who is ignorant of the local customs. While you are at it. Learn a few Japanese phrases. It goes a long way.

Take the train. Don’t be intimidated. Once you get the hang of it, it is very efficient. How I wish LA had them operating at this level. Get a Suica card. The Suica is a prepaid e-money card for moving around and shopping. There is no more need to buy a ticket from a vending machine. Just touch your Suica to the
ticket gate and the fare is automatically deducted from your Suica. The Suica can be used not only for JR East trains, but subways and buses as well.

Oh, on the trains, you will notice that most Japanese sit quietly. They usually text each other rather than talk. Zen. So don’t yell out at the top of your voice and call attention to your stupid self.

 If you have tattoos, there are a few types of institutions that may refuse you admittance if they notice you have any tattoos, though, including onsen, public baths, and public pools. I know… it’s a Japan thing. Don’t take it personal.

Japanese Onsen

Check the weather, when it is cold it can get colder than Southern California… when it is hot it can be hot.  When it is cold, be warned that department stores and malls blast their heaters so you’d have to take your coat off indoors because you would be blistering hot inside.  The opposite is true in the summer months, it may be 90 degrees F (32 C) outside but they will turn on their AC on fullblast inside that you’ll need a light sweater to be comfortable.

If you are going to be doing a lot walking, you obviously need comfortable shoes. Wear nice socks in case you’ll have to take off your shoes when going into other people’s houses or shrines. Get new socks!

You’ll probably want to see Mt. Fuji. Know that it is only visible 80 days in a year. I’d hate for you to take the trip there and not see it. The reality is that your days may not coincide. If it is a must see for you, schedule your trip in winter and monitor the cloud forecast in Shizuoka, Japan. A cloud forecast of 10% or below is good. But don’t fret, there are so much more to see.

Remember?

Remember the day you prayed for the things you have now?

Reality Check

Life sucks.
But for some it sucks more.
I just flew back in from the Philippines, It was more or less a yearly pilgrimage I make. My mom is there. She is living with the scourge Alzheimer's. I have family and friends who I treasure. But if I was to be selfish, I would rather go somewhere else. Don't get me wrong, the Philippines is a beautiful country. I would argue that it has the best beaches in the world. There is just so much poverty.
So when the Alexis Louise Quiza Foundation (ALQ), of which I am honored to be a director in their Board, came up with a project to feed street children, my yearly trip took on a nobler purpose.



A study said that there are 1.5 million street children in the Philippines. I thought, if we even are able to provide an hour of relief, from hunger and the heat, this trip would have been successful.

So, on November 25, the ALQ Foundation bought food from Jollibee,  partnered with Childhope Asia and fed street children at the Archdiocesan Shrine of Nuestra Senora De Guia.



We got to the site early. Prior to the feeding, my family and I elected to stop by and have a late lunch. Yellow Cab! It is my favorite pizza joint in the Philippines. Ironically, it fashions itself after everything New York, even though it's origin is purely Filipino. Anyway... We had our fill and started to make our way back to the Ermita Church...

By now, a group of kids where beginning to come. They were mostly pre-teens. I noticed some of them did not even have footwear. In my head, I wondered how they got around the grimy, blistering Manila streets barefoot.

Soon the hall was full of children. There was order in the chaos. They have obviously done this before. They set up the old rickety tables and plastic chairs that have seen better days. It was HOT. There were 2 small ceiling fans. One was broken. I was drenched in sweat. And it was the end of November! I imagine it was hot as hell in summer. (This is why as a side project, we bought 5 fans to use in the hall.) This same hall is used by volunteers to give the children a semblance of school.

 The Church, through benefactors feed this young ones one meal a day from Tuesdays to Saturdays. Our little Jollibee donation is definitely a treat. A break from the usual grub the church provides.

We were told that their usual meal for 50 children cost 1,500 pesos. That is less than $32! Definitely less than most meals I pay for a regular meal for 2 here in the States. I can imagine the meal for the children wasn't a feast.

Before the meal, I was asked to speak. I tried to wiggle out of it because, I had lost my voice a day before, but agreed because I wanted them to know that no matter how life seems bleak at certain times, there are people in the world who sincerely care for their welfare, and that they should not give up on what is good. The talk was more for me than them.

After that they prayed and thanked God for the food they are about to partake in.

What broke my heart was, we saw kids, try to hide away food on their plate...to take home for a family member...

That was the greatest lesson I learned. No matter how little you have, there is always somebody who always could need your help. I was touched that these kids would put aside the little they have for someone else. How can we not do the same? Message me for details on how to help feed street children through the Alexis Louise Quiza Foundation.

Saddest thing I read today:

It’s the only time in my life I ever tried to talk to God. First I asked him why. Then I asked him to help me. And he never said a word.

You know, the only thing worse than being shined on by God is having it happen at a time like that, man. But it’s just like the preachers say: you can’t fool God. He knows why you’re finally talking to him – because you need help. So God never answered me, and I was on my own. And the only thing I wanted to do was to die.

Second.